Lightning Jacks - Pasadena, MD

We had one simple request from the lady at the crab place we were about to leave. Where is the closet bar? (Not the cleanest bar. Not the friendliest bar? Not the most hospitable bar. Just the closest.)
That is how we ended up at Lightning Jacks. One of the guys in the group took one look at the place from outside and said, "Holy shit, we're gonna get killed". So we went in.
Only to be met quickly by a hostess who noticed we were not dressed like the biker/redneck clientele. And certainly not from the area.
Apparently, for our own safety, she escorted us to the empty back room to the furthest table in the farest corner.
It didn't take long for us to take a liking to the place.
At one point my old boss, a former bar bouncer, and myself went to the jukebox to find the gayest songs to play in an attempt to rile the locals. When that didn't work, we kept playing and playing "The Final Countdown" by Europe . Why the Final Countdown? I have no idea.
But it must have belted out over a dozen times that evening.
And as things got really kicked up, a fine local lady (I think) cornered me and somehow the conversation shifted to her walking into the bathroom last week. She stated she found one woman patron (the pleasurer) orally pleasing another female patron(the pleasuree) in the stall. The local apparently did not take a liking to what she saw. She then related she grabbed the pleasurer by the back of her head and commenced to smashing in into the ground yelling: "No cunt eating in my bathrooms".
At that point I had to stop her from continuing her story, gather the boys and politely ask her to repeatt her recent experience. Which she did, with much more flair.
I found on website where a poster wrote: "Somebody gave this 5 stars: It must have been some locals? If you like to be covered in smoke and walk on a dirty floor, you have found the right place. The crowd gets a little rough and downright ugly at times."
In my book I give this shithole a 6 out of 5 stars.